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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23250583">Inner Turmoil</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MargoMarie22/pseuds/MargoMarie22'>MargoMarie22</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:06:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,146</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23250583</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MargoMarie22/pseuds/MargoMarie22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A revamp of an old au theatre version of the classic Carol &amp; Therese story. </p><p>Carol knows how to cover up the ugly bits of herself and put on the facade of a perfect woman. It's as natural as breathing for the actress. Can Therese decipher who the real Carol is and get behind the walls Carol has built around herself? Will their professional relationship or an unforeseen tragedy be the end of it all?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carol Aird &amp; Abby Gerhard, Carol Aird &amp; Harge Aird, Carol Aird &amp; Rindy Aird, Carol Aird/Therese Belivet, Therese Belivet/Genevieve Cantrell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>172</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi friends! I'm sure you'd all like the strangle me after completely taking off a previous theatre au story I had started last year. I fashioned it a bit too much after real life and quickly found I was re-living a bit of trauma due to my writing. But I'm past that phase of my life and now that I'm also under quarantine (NYC here), I have plenty of time to start anew with my original idea and give it a whole new life. I hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Therese paused outside of the theatre and drained the last of her hot latte before tossing it in a nearby trashcan and heading inside to the lobby. She was 10 minutes early on her first day of a new contract. She had been a last-minute hire by the theatre as the previous company manager had to be fired directly coming off the previous show. Therese was more than grateful for the job opportunity as it was saving her from accepting a different contract that would’ve taken her out of the city for the summer. </p><p>However, it was the first time in a while she was going into a job where she knew no one. She hadn’t worked with any of the actors or production team before. It was the first rehearsal day but the actors and director had already had two rounds of workshops for the show over the last year.</p><p>Therese waited for five minutes in the lobby, growing more anxious by the minute, when finally a woman a year or two older than herself, perhaps 26 or 27, walked in. </p><p>“Hi! You must be Therese, right? Our new company manager? I’m Genevieve, lead production assistant.” Therese shook the short brunette’s hand. They stood at about the same height but the other woman’s strong frame and palpable confidence made Therese feel small.  </p><p>“It’s nice to meet you. I hope I’m not too early.” Therese nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. </p><p>“Not at all! The stage manager, Sarah, usually strolls in 15 minutes after the crew. Come up with me, I’ll show you around and fill you in on how things usually run. I’ve been with the theatre for nearly two years now.” Therese nodded in response as she followed Genevieve up 3 flights of stairs to the theatre’s rehearsal space. “I’m so glad the theatre was able to nab you for this show! The last woman who was company manager was a nightmare. So glad they decided to ditch her. Where do you come to us from?”</p><p>Therese struggled to keep up with Genevieve. It was going to take a few days to get use to the stairs. “I’ve done a bit of work here and there. Still semi-new to New York City. I’ve been doing some temp. work for a production company. Otherwise, most of my company management experience comes from working upstate and in Connecticut. This gig actually saved me from working an out of town summer stock!”</p><p>“Not a summer stock kind of person, huh? They can be fun if it’s a well-run company!” Genevieve led them into a room and set her things on a table at the far end. “You can set up here at the table with me.”</p><p>Therese dropped her two bags on the table. “Great, thank you! And I don’t have anything again summer stock. I just wanted a chance to continue settling into the city rather than having to turn around and leave again. I moved here about 3 months ago. Still getting accustomed to everything, finding my spots and such.”</p><p>“That’s fair!”</p><p>It was still over an hour before the actors were set to arrive, so Genevieve showed Therese around the rest of the theatre and filled her in on what her duties would be while throwing in stories of the mistakes the old company manager made. Therese made a mental note of the latter in particular. She learned she was always welcome inside the rehearsal room or there was a small office space down the hall that was always kept empty she could use if she wanted some privacy and quiet.  </p><p>An hour later, well after the rest of the production members had arrived and finished setting up, the director, writer, and actors began to show. The play was made up of five actors, three women and two men. Genevieve would lean over each time someone new walked in to tell Therese each person’s name. </p><p>A minute before the 10:00a start time Therese surveyed the room and realized there seemed to be one less woman than there should’ve been. She turned to Genevieve. “Are we still missing one?”</p><p>At that moment a woman in a soft blue suit breezed through the door and made her way to the director, hugging her and profusely apologizing for her near tardiness. The actress who appeared to be in her mid to late 30s was tall with blonde wavy hair that reached just to the top her shoulders. To say the woman cut a nice figure would’ve been an understatement. Therese gawked for a moment before chastising herself for such a thought. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to look away. </p><p>At some point Genevieve must have leaned over to tell Therese the woman’s name. Precisely when she didn’t know. But the name ‘Carol’ softly bounced around in Therese’s head. Carol greeted her fellow actors before taking her own seat at the table situated in the middle of the room. It was then the blonde looked to her left, towards the production table where Therese sat. Carol gave a quick wave to the stage manager, Sarah, and then scanned the rest of the team. Her gazed passed over Therese but suddenly doubled back, locking eyes for a prolonged moment with the brunette. Therese quickly looked back down at her computer pretending to busy herself with expense reports, feeling a heat creep up her neck and into her cheeks. </p><p>The director and the stage manager each gave a welcome speech to the room before Therese was introduced to the group. As Therese gave her own speech, she tried to split her focus evenly between everyone but found she kept tracking back to Carol. The blonde had icy blue eyes, a shade or two lighter than her suit. At one-point Therese must’ve focused a bit too long on Carol as the older woman suddenly gave her a sly wink while the rest of her face remained neutral. Therese wondered for a moment if she had imagined the wink and felt a shiver creep up her back. She pressed on in her speech, anxious for the attention in the room to no longer be on her.   </p><p>“So if there’s anything you ever need or any questions that wouldn’t normally be answered by your director or stage manager, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me! I’m available by email, call, or even text if I’m ever not here in the room with y’all.”</p><p>Therese took her set and the stage manager called everyone to their first break. They’d dive into the script afterward. The room broke into life as everyone made their way to the snack table, out into the hall to the bathroom, or over to the windows to admire the view over the streets of New York. Therese continued to familiarize herself with the expense reports she was now in charge of tracking and reconciling. </p><p>“Something tells me you aren’t originally from around here.”</p><p>Therese looked up, a bit startled to find Carol standing in front of her taking a sip out of the coffee mug she held. “I’m sorry?”</p><p>“The ‘y’all’ tipped me off. Where did you pick that up?”</p><p>“Oh! I grew up in Texas, actually.”</p><p>“Really? I’m surprised! You don’t seem to have an accent.” Carol's voice was rich in tone and low in register. She smiled warmly down at the younger woman.  “And your name. Therese, not Theresa?”</p><p>Therese smiled and shook her head. “Just Therese. Therese from Texas and no accent. An odd duck I guess!” </p><p>“Nonsense, you’re lovely.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I only know how to write slow burn. Hope you'll stick with me for this ride!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rehearsal slipped by remarkably fast. Therese spent most of it engrossed in the actors’ first read-through of the script. It was a drama, a tragic story of a mother, early 60s and her grown daughter, early 40s; the horrific truth of the mother’s past brought to life before their very eyes as well as the daughter’s act of vengeance against her own mother. </p><p>After the group had finished the end of the show, the room felt heavy. Sarah called for a 15-minute break and the group dispersed quietly. Therese tracked Carol's movements as she and another actress, Abby, who played Carol’s sister grabbed something out of their bags and disappeared out the door. </p><p>Genevieve turned toward Therese. “So! What do you think so far?”</p><p>Therese turned towards her and blinked. “Think of what?”</p><p>The other woman chuckled. “Of the show! The cast, our group and all that jazz.”</p><p>“Oh! It’s great! I mean the play seems incredible. I really like it so far and everyone seems well suited for their roles. And you guys, you, Sarah and the others are awesome. You guys all seem to work so well together.”</p><p>“That’s because we all work on every show together. Or at least every show that Liz directs like this one. It helps.”</p><p>“That’s awesome! Must be great having a team you get to work repeatedly with. Genevieve, I’ll be right back. Gotta run to the bathroom.”</p><p>“Sure thing go, go! And please for the love of god call me Gen!” </p><p>Therese laughed and made her way towards the door. When she got to the hall she looked in both directions, a little disappointed that she didn’t see Carol. Therese made her way to the bathroom, thankful to find no one else inside. She ran her hands up through her hair trying to give it a bit more volume. She was always frustrated with the state of her hair. Chocolate brown and clipped just past her chin. Cute enough but it always felt lack-luster, flat, boring. She ran her fingers under her eyes, wiping away a few flakes of mascara that had fallen from her lashes. </p><p>As Therese entered back into the hall, she nearly ran headfirst into someone who caught her forearm to prevent them both from fully colliding. </p><p>“Careful!” Therese looked up to see Carol wearing a smirk. “You okay?’</p><p>Therese felt her heart jump up into her throat. “Oh! Sorry, yes! I’m sorry.” She took a small step back but Carol kept a hand on her arm. </p><p>“Don’t apologize. Just as much my fault as yours. No one’s fault, really.” </p><p>Abby came up behind Carol flicking a lighter she held in her hand a few times. “Hello, ladies.” Carol dropped her hand from Therese’s arm who instantly missed its warmth. “And where was my invitation to this little pow-wow?”</p><p>“Not everything is about you, dear Abigail” Therese clocked the amused annoyance in Carol’s voice. There was a familiarity in their banter. </p><p>“Yes, well right now it is about me! Abby Gerhard, pleasure to formally meet you, Therese!” </p><p>Therese smiled. “Likewise!” </p><p>Abby took a step back and crossed her arms as if openly admiring Therese. “Well I’ll say this, I’ve never had a company manager who was quite so young and attractive as you.”</p><p>“Abigail!” Carol slapped her arm with the back of her hand.</p><p>“Ouch, what?! I was only paying her a compliment! And she seems a very capable company manager, too. What else do you want from me? Sheesh!” Abby headed back towards the room rubbing at her arm, grumbling. “You’d better be glad I’m too lazy to sue you for abuse.”</p><p>Carol turned back to Therese shaking her head despite the smile she wore. “My apologies on her behalf, Therese. I hope she wasn’t too out of line.”</p><p>“It’s fine, Carol. We’re all from the theatre and have heard far worse, myself included! No harm done.” Therese smiled up at the taller woman. Sarah’s voice from inside the room announced the break ending in two minutes. “Shall we go back in?”</p><p>“Of course. I’m glad Abby didn’t offend you. She’s insufferable most of the time but I adore her.”</p><p>“Have you worked with each other before?”</p><p>“Oh yes, we’ve actually been best friends since we were kids.”</p><p>In the room, Sarah clapped her hands, drawing attention. “Alright everyone, we’re back! Liz would like to start from the top of the show again.” </p><p>As Therese turned to make her way back to her own seat, Carol reached out to give her upper arm a soft squeeze, drawing out a smile from Therese. </p><p> </p><p>“You and Therese seem to get along well.” Abby strolled down the street a step ahead of Carol. Carol looked up to see the other woman throwing a look over her shoulder.</p><p>Carol pulled her jacket a little tighter around herself. It was early April, but a chilled breeze still lingered in the air. “Well, shouldn’t we? She’s our company manager after all.”</p><p>Abby laughed. “Oh please, I’m not stupid, Carol! I saw the way you two were– Ow! What the fuck?!” Carol had tugged sharply on a piece of Abby’s long auburn hair. </p><p>“Abby, you know the situation I’m in. Don’t start joking about something that’s not there!”</p><p>“Alright, alright!” Abby narrowed her eyes at the blonde. Carol knew her best friend would see right through her but prayed she’d let it go. “Since when did you become so violent? I know you like it rough but damn!”</p><p>Carol laughed and put her arm around Abby. “I’m sorry. You know how I am at the start of a new show. Nerves like crazy.”</p><p>“God only knows why. You’re too talented for your own good, Carol. I don’t know why you never took more advantage of that. You could’ve been a real star.”</p><p>“We’ve been over this, Abby. I don’t want to be a star; I don’t want all the fuss and attention. I just want to act!”</p><p>“I still sense bullshit in that excuse but sure, fine. Whatever floats your boat, love.” </p><p>The two women parted ways, Abby heading east to her place, Carol to the south. When Carol stepped into her own apartment, the silence engulfed her. She sighed and dropped her purse by the door, taking her other bag containing her script and various show materials with her to her desk. She pulled out the contact sheet and started manually plugging in phone numbers into her phone. When she finished, she pulled up Therese’s contact, staring at the blank photo icon. </p><p>Her vision started to blur as her mind conjured up two emerald eyes, dimpled cheeks, and the contrast of dark hair against pale skin. But before she could bring this image into focus, her phone began to vibrate, pulling her from her thoughts. She huffed at the number on her screen. </p><p>“Yes?”</p><p> </p><p>Therese opened the door, immediately shedding her jacket and bags onto the floor by the couch before making her way to the kitchen. </p><p>“Dannie, I’m home!”  Therese was met with a surprising silence. She was almost certain Dannie said he would be home for the evening. She opened the fridge trying to decide between a glass of white wine or a beer. </p><p>Two hands grabbed at her waist from behind making her shriek. “FUCK, DANNIE!” She turned to find Dannie doubled over in laughter. </p><p>“Sorry, sorry! I just couldn’t resist the temptation!” He wiped a tear from his eye. “You’re just too easy to spook!” Therese playfully slapped his shoulder. “So how was the first day? Anyone yell at you yet?”</p><p>“Ha. Ha.” Therese poured herself a glass of wine and brought it over to sit next to Dannie on the couch. “It was fine. Everyone seems very nice! I’d like to think this will be an easy group. But then again, you never know what’s going to happen by the time tech rolls around.” </p><p>“Nice. Any actors we know in it?”</p><p>“Not this time. No one that I know anyway, but…” Therese trailed off and she peered into her wine glass.</p><p>“But……what, Therese?” Dannie nudged her. </p><p>“Hmm? Oh, nothing.”</p><p>Dannie eyed her for a moment. “Spill it, Therese. Who is it?” </p><p>Therese feigned surprise. “No one! It’s – what makes you think there’s someone or whatever?” He gave her a pointed look to which Therese took a rather large swig from her glass. “It’s work, Dannie. It’s nothing. And if I talk about her, you’ll just make it into something.”</p><p>Dannie pointed a finger in his best friend’s face. “Her! I knew it!” </p><p>“Dannie!” Therese knew he meant well but Dannie was a little too relationship-crazy. He always wanted to know who was with who, who was newly single, and especially who had a crush on who. It was his life's goal to have played matchmaker to at least one successful marriage. </p><p>“Alright, fine!” He threw his hands up in defense. “But the moment this becomes something, you’d better tell me! You know I can always sniff it out of you anyway.”</p><p>Therese rolled her eyes but couldn’t ignore the butterflies in the pit of her stomach.   </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello one and all! First - thank you for the lovely comments on the previous chapters. I won't be responding directly to every comment but each one that I read makes my heart burst with happiness! Second, I won't be updating super often (despite my first two chapters being posted back to back). But I'll try not to be away as long as I was this time around. Quarantine has left me a little less creative feeling than I anticipated. I also needed to hash out a real plan for this story now that I'm really back into it. Third, apologies for any errors you find. I'm notorious for not catching mistakes until my fifth read (usually after I've published)! Cheers and stay safe and healthy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning as Therese approached the theatre, she noticed a tall figure in a long brown wool coat hanging outside the entrance. It was a woman faced away from Therese, but the mass of wavy blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail was clue enough for her. She continued her approach quietly. </p><p>“Well good morning, Carol.” The older woman turned on her heel and smiled broadly. Therese felt all the air in her lungs suddenly escape her. Under her coat, Carol was wearing a black turtleneck tucked into high waisted jeans supported by a simple black belt. Therese didn’t dare look further down in an obvious display of admiration for the older woman’s appearance. </p><p>“Good morning to you, Therese Belivet.” The younger woman was stunned for a moment. No one ever remembered her last name correctly on a first try. </p><p>Therese fumbled with the keys she had been given that would let her into the theatre. The building was usually still locked at the hour the production team arrived, ahead of everyone else. “You’re here awfully early aren’t you?” </p><p>Therese watched Carol stub out a cigarette she hadn’t noticed the older woman was holding on a nearby trashcan. Carol looked up. “Sorry, bad habit. Anyway, the costume designer asked me to come in this morning at the last minute. They’re still trying to make some concrete decisions about what to do with my hair for the show.  </p><p>Therese held the door open for Carol to enter ahead of her, finally taking note of the black heeled ankle boots the taller woman wore, giving her an additional few inches over her. Carol immediately took a turn down a hall towards the costume shop rather than up the stairs where Therese would head. But before she was out of earshot, only turning her head as far as her shoulder, she called back. “See you in a bit, Therese.” Therese stayed rooted where she stood, watching as Carol disappeared down the hall and around a corner. </p><p>When Therese made it up the stairs and into the rehearsal room she found Gen already set up at the production table. Gen looked up and smiled brightly. “Hey! You didn’t run away from us!”</p><p>Therese teased back as she joined the other woman. “Not yet anyway. The things we do for rent!” She pulled out her laptop, setting up her own little work station before going to pour herself a cup of coffee.  </p><p>Gen got up and joined Therese at the coffee station. “On Fridays, the stage management team goes out for a drink at Lily’s around the corner. You should join us this Friday!”</p><p>“Sure, that sounds great! Thanks, Gen.”</p><p>As other production members trickled in, everyone kept their heads in their computers, prepping for the day and planning out how the rest of the rehearsal process would progress into tech. It put her at ease to start the day in a collectively calm atmosphere. About 15 minutes before rehearsal was officially set to begin, Carol came into the room to find she was still the only actor to have arrived. Hardly anyone gave her a glance apart from the stage manager, Sarah, who quietly greeted her from where she sat. </p><p>After Carol set her things at the seat she had sat in the day before, she approached Therese with some papers in hand. Therese looked up and greeted her with a smile. “How did the hair consultation go?”</p><p>Carol tucked a stray blonde strand behind her ear. “I suppose it’s just about been decided I’ll be wearing a brunette wig longer than my actual hair. Nothing exciting. But I did bring some papers for your general manager. I didn’t have the info I needed yesterday to fill out the direct deposit page of my contract. But it’s all filled out now if it’s alright to give to you to pass on.”</p><p>“Of course!” Therese took the papers from Carol and glanced over the top page. “Carol Ross?” Therese looked back up.</p><p>“Mmm yes, my maiden name. I got a divorce about a year ago. Even though I can’t really go about changing my stage name after some fifteen plus years, I can at least change my legal name back.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m so sorry. I –“</p><p>“Don’t be sorry! I’m certainly not.” Carol gave her a kind smile despite cutting her off and gave a nod towards the papers. “Thank you for helping me pass those along, dear.”</p><p>“No thanks needed, it’s my pleasure!” </p><p>Still smiling, Carol raised an eyebrow at Therese and turned away to join Jennette, who played Carol’s mother and had just arrived, back at the actor’s table.  </p><p>The rest of the week passed in a blur for everyone. It was a bit taxing on most people getting back to a full rehearsal schedule. But everyone was getting along well and as the table work on the show came to a close, everyone was excited to get on their feet. Thursday was the last day the actors worked through the script at the table. When the actors were dismissed for the day, the stage management team struck the table and began to tape out the set on the floor. Therese stuck around to finish some reports and then teamed up with Gen to help make the tape out work go faster. In thanks, Gen promised to buy Therese a drink the next night. </p><p>“You are still coming out to Lily’s with us tomorrow, right?”</p><p>“If you're buying the first round, how could I say no?”</p><p>“That a girl!” Gen swung an arm around her shoulder. “It’ll be fun, you won’t regret going! Or at least not more than everyone else when we all show up to rehearsal on Saturday with a hangover.”</p><p>Therese laughed. “Careful Gen, you might un-sell me on the idea!” </p><p>Friday after rehearsal, everyone who planned to go to Lily’s for a drink stayed late at the theatre. A large dinner order was made for delivery and everyone sat in a circle on the floor of the rehearsal room and chattered away as they ate. A bit of a spotlight was put on Therese since she was the newest member of the group. But in turn, she got to learn a lot more about the culture of the theatre and the people. By the time everyone had finished eating, she really felt like a part of the group.  It was nearing 9:00 pm by the time the group made their way to Lily’s.</p><p>They all sat at a long high-top table at the back of the bar. Therese was about two vodka cranberries deep when she started getting the sense that Gen was inching closer and closer to her. She felt the occasional brush of Gen’s thigh against her own and soon it became a constant pressure. She started to pay a little more attention to Gen’s body language out of curiosity. When she laughed, Gen pitched her body towards Therese. If she was laughing specifically in response to something Therese said, she would find a way to connect with her physically. A hand to her forearm, a hand to her thigh, eventually a forehead to her shoulder. Therese found it amusing. Gen was attractive, but she wasn’t really her type. Therese was into older, taller women. </p><p>As if the universe was reading her mind, Therese, who happened to be facing the front of the bar, saw two women who matched such a description walk in the door. Therese left out a small gasp prompting a question from one of the other production members, Phil. Gen looked up in the same direction. </p><p>“No way!” Gen motioned for everyone else to turn and look towards the door. “Carol and Abby just walked in! Of all the places, how did they end up at this bar, too?”</p><p>Therese kept her eyes trained on Carol as the two women found a small high-top at the front of the bar to sit at. “Maybe they heard one of us talking about this place. Should we have invited them?” </p><p>Gen snorted. “Hell no. We almost never invite the actors out with us. Not like they ever invite us to their little actor hangouts.” </p><p>Therese looked down into her nearly empty glass in disappointment. At the theatres she worked at prior, she always had a close relationship with the actors. She often went out to drinks with them or invited them out. There wasn’t so much of a separation between the actors and other members of the production. A majority of the actors she worked with at those other places were New York actors. But maybe it was just being away from home that made everyone more eager to be involved and involve others in everything. She’d have to get used to this divide now that she was working in the city. </p><p>Therese drank the last of her drink and excused herself to the bar. She was still in her head musing when she slid into an open spot, not taking note of the people around her. </p><p>“You aren’t going to say hello?” </p><p>Therese looked up to her left to see Carol smirking at her. Carol had released her hair from its previous ponytail and must have given it a touch-up. Her usual waves were a little more pronounced and framed her face beautifully.</p><p>“Hi! I’m sorry, I was in my head about…something, I didn’t see you at first. What are you doing here of all places?”</p><p>“Abby insisted I come out with her tonight and furthermore refused to let me pick the location. What about you? I see a group of you came out after rehearsal.”</p><p>Therese glanced back at the table. No one seemed to notice the two women talking. She looked back at Carol and felt a bit guilty. “They've all worked on multiple shows together and I guess a Friday night drink has been their tradition for a while now. Gen invited me along tonight.” </p><p>The bartender came over and set two drinks in front of Carol before taking Therese’s order. Carol picked up the drinks. “You’re welcome to come over and join us at any point if you’d like, Therese. But I understand if you’d like to stay with the other group.” </p><p>“Oh, I’d love to!” Carol began to turn away when Therese blurted out one last thing, making her freeze. “You look beautiful, by the way.” Carol turned back and didn’t say anything for a moment. Therese couldn’t read her face and began to feel the heat of embarrassment settle into her cheeks. </p><p>Finally, Carol spoke, her voice deep. Therese nearly didn’t hear what she said. “Don’t leave tonight without coming to have at least one drink with us.” With that, she left Therese alone at the bar. </p><p>Back with the group, Therese nursed her drink, hardly hearing the conversation happening around her. At some point, Gen laid a hand on hers. “You alright? You’ve gone kind of quiet.”</p><p>“Hmm? No, no I’m fine. I guess the week is catching up to me.”</p><p>“We’ve only got one more day to get through and then we’ve got our Sunday day off!”</p><p>“Cheers to that!” </p><p> </p><p>As Abby left to go to the bathroom Carol watched in slight horror as she stopped off at the table where Therese sat. She had told Abby about her invitation for Therese to join them for a drink. But it had been over 30 minutes and Therese still hadn’t come. Carol had begun to sulk and Abby called her out for it. Now she feared Abby was saying something to Therese that would undoubtedly embarrass Carol in front of the others. </p><p>When Abby returned, Carol gave her the third degree. “And just what did you feel the need to say to Therese over there?”</p><p>“Woah, hold the attitude! I just stopped to say hello to everyone. Would’ve been pretty rude to just pass them on the way to the bathroom and say nothing, wouldn’t it? We ALL had a pleasant little chat and I mentioned I was probably going to leave soon.”</p><p>Carol looked at her skeptically. “You? Miss never-quits is going to go home already?” Just then, Therese came up behind Carol, unseen to the blonde, with a fresh drink in hand. </p><p>Abby gathered her things and poured her unfinished drink into Carol's half-full glass. “Darling, I never said I was going home.” Abby stood and addressed the young woman still standing behind Carol. “Sorry I can’t stay for a chat, Therese.” She looked down at Carol. “But you two ladies go ahead and have a fun night without out me. See you tomorrow!”</p><p>Carol whipped around to see Therese smiling bashfully down at her. “I’m sorry I didn’t come over sooner. Is it too late to join you for a drink?” </p><p>Carol felt herself relax. “Of course not! Please sit.” She patted the stool beside her for Therese to sit in rather than the stool across where Abby had been.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Slow and steady!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Forgive me for the slightly short chapter(s). It seems easier to keep writing if I can take it a bit at a time. Love and health to you all!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Therese sat, Carol wiped up a bit of liquid that had spilled on the table when Abby poured her drink into the other woman’s glass. Carol launched into conversation without looking up from her task. </p><p>“Tell me about yourself, Therese. How in the world did you end up in New York from Texas? You’re so young to have moved so far from home.”</p><p>Therese took a deep breath and wrapped both hands around her glass in an attempt to focus her nervous energy. “Well, I’ve actually been living and working away from Texas for a few years now doing contract work at various theatres here in the northeast. As soon as I graduated, I looked for a job as far away as possible. For a while, I was sure I’d end up in Seattle right out of college. Texas never really felt like home to me.”</p><p>“Why is that?”</p><p>“I guess since I never had a stable home growing up, I felt like I’d never be able to really lay down roots, feel settled. I grew up in the foster system. Bounced around a couple of different homes." Therese found herself perplexed at the ease she felt opening up to Carol. Aside from Dannie, she had never told people anything about her childhood. But she felt safe, even compelled to continue. "After a while, every place I went I felt a weird detachment to like I knew I wouldn’t be staying long. Maybe that’s why I never did. I don’t know, I’m not making much sense.” Therese laughed to herself, but it was strained. She took a gulp of her drink.</p><p>“I think it makes perfect sense.” Carol locked eyes with Therese who felt a hand cover her own. "I’m sorry you weren’t able to find a place that felt like home when you were younger. I can only imagine how that must feel.” Carol gave her hand a soft squeeze but didn’t let go. Therese whispered a thank you. “But what about now? Does the city feel like home at all?”</p><p>A smile tugged at Therese’s lips. “It does actually. The moment I moved here, everything felt right. I didn’t feel apprehensive about my decision to move, I didn’t have any moment of panic where I thought ‘What the hell have I done?’ or not yet anyway!” The two women shared a smile.</p><p>Carol patted Therese’s hand before releasing it to grab her own glass for a drink. “Well, I’m glad it feels right. I know I’m happy you’re here.” </p><p>Therese shifted in her seat, imploring her brain not to overthink the comment. She began to shrug off the cardigan she wore, feeling a little warm. “And what about you? Where did you grow up, how long have you been in here in the city?”</p><p>Carol waved a hand at the question. “I’ve been here too many years to mention.” Carol suddenly grabbed Therese’s elbow, gently pulling her arm closer for inspection. “But what’s this?”</p><p>Therese practically choked out an answer as fingers ghosted the tattoo on her inner forearm, just below the crease of her arm. “It’s a lotus flower.” Carol was slightly hunched over, closely inspecting the black disconnected lines that created the image. Therese tried to conceal the shiver that raced down her spine. “It’s an Egyptian symbol of rebirth and a Buddhist symbol of mental purity. It's a bit simplistic but - "</p><p>Carl looked at Therese through her eyelashes, gently cutting her off. “It’s beautiful.” </p><p>Therese felt like her skin was on fire. Carol still had one hand cradling her elbow, the fingers of the other resting on her arm where she had ceased tracing the petals of the flower. Carol seemed to invade every inch of her view. Therese became conscious of how hard she was breathing. Had her chest always expanded so dramatically? She took a deep breath through her nose. A whole new sense overtook her brain and made her slightly dizzy. Her eyes fluttered close. “Oh.”</p><p>She flinched at the cool contact she felt on her cheek, the complete opposite of the heat she felt on her arm. She opened her eyes to Carol gently brushing the back of her hand against her face. </p><p>“Are you alright, darling?”</p><p>Therese finally pulled her arm from the grasped of Carol’s other hand in embarrassment. “Yes, sorry. Your perfume just smells really good and I guess the cocktails are getting to me. I should probably cut myself off.” </p><p>Carol sat against the back of her seat, putting some distance between herself and Therese who felt a little tension release from her shoulders. “Ah my perfume. The second-best thing to come out of my marriage.” Carol quipped.  </p><p>“Second-best?”</p><p>“Yes, my daughter, Rindy, of course being the best. The perfume was a gift Harge gave me a few years before we split. I loved it and haven’t used anything else since.” </p><p>“I guess I didn’t realize you had a daughter. How old is she?”</p><p>Carol smiled and a faraway look overtook her face. “She’s eight. Curious about everything, sharp as a tack. Nothing gets past her.” Her voice trailed off as her smile faded. A moment later she smiled again and turned back to the Therese, tucking a fist under her chin. But this time, Therese noticed, the smile didn’t reach her eyes. </p><p>“And what about you, Miss Belivet? Who do you have that’s special in your life?” </p><p>“Me? Oh…no one really. It’s just me here in the city. Apart from Dannie who I live with.” Therese clocked the slight raise of Carol’s eyebrows. “He’s my best friend, purely platonic. He’s an actor I met on a show I worked on in Connecticut. We hit it off and when I was ready to officially move to the city he just happened to be looking for a new roommate.”</p><p>“Where do the two of you live?”</p><p>“The norther-most part of the Upper West Side. I love the area, it’s great for long walks. There’s supposed to be a lot of great restaurants around too, but Danie’s schedule hardly matches up with mine so we don’t get to go out a lot together.”</p><p>“Well, I’d be happy to go with you, for your sake of course. Invite me round.” She winked at Therese and disappeared behind her drink as she polished it off. </p><p>Before Therese could even attempt to think of a response, Gen approached, dropping Therese’s bags by her chair rather abruptly. “Hey, we’re all heading out. You want to share a cab since your place is on my way?”</p><p>Therese stammered for a moment. “Oh I, well I…” She looked back at the blonde. “Carol, I don’t want to keep you out too late.”</p><p>“That’s alright, Therese. You should go. I think I’ll head home as well.”</p><p>“Do you want a ride, too? Or, I mean, I guess I don’t even know if you’d be on the way.”</p><p>“No, I live downtown.” Carol's voice was clipped, suddenly absent of any warmth. Therese shrunk a bit in her seat. “But thank you for the offer.”</p><p>Therese looked back up at Gen. “I need to run to the bathroom first, could you wait for me?”</p><p>Gen plopped down in the seat that had formerly been Abby’s with a smile. “Sure!”</p><p>Therese looked at Carol who would hardly make eye contact as she gathered her own things. The younger woman hesitated before quietly stating “I won’t be a long.” in hopes that Carol wouldn’t leave yet. She wanted more time with her even if it was just the few moments it'd take to walk out to the street. </p><p>Therese left the two women at the table but when she returned, Gen was alone and Carol nowhere to be seen.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Anyone start Mrs. America yet? ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On her way into work, Therese felt more exhausted purely from lack of sleep than from a hangover. When she’d gotten home from the bar the night before she couldn’t sleep. She spent the entire night staring at the ceiling, replaying her conversation with Carol. If she concentrated, she could nearly make out the feeling of the older woman’s fingers ghosting over her arm and brushing against her cheek. She still felt a prick of annoyance at Gen’s interruption when she walked into the rehearsal room. Most everyone shuffled in a tad quieter than usual that morning. Gen rolled in sometime after Therese, carrying two iced coffees and set one down in front of Therese. </p>
<p>“How close to death do you feel?”</p>
<p>Therese couldn’t help but laughed, play-squinting up at Gen. “You’re telling me this isn’t hell and I’m actually alive?”</p>
<p>Later on, Therese was pulling down old documents and posting new ones to the actors’ call board out in the hallway when she heard Abby’s voice coming from the direction of the stairs. A moment later she came around the corner followed by Carol. A little too loudly, Abby greeted Therese as she passed. Therese greeted both women in return. However, as the blonde passed, she gave only a slight nod with a tight smile. The women continued into the rehearsal room leaving Therese alone once more. </p>
<p>The day felt the longest of any other that week. Therese’s attention was glued to her computer, hashing out details on the show’s comp ticket policy, unaware of anything else happening in the room. Sometime in the early afternoon, Therese heard Gen suck in air through her teeth. Therese looked over to see her gripping her pencil hard, her knuckles white and eyes wide. Therese turned her focus towards the center of the room to see Phil and Jennette in what appeared to be a stand-off. Only Therese couldn’t tell if it was part of the show or not. But she did sense the thick tension in the room. Sarah jumped to a standing position firmly announcing a fifteen-minute break. People broke off into groups in the corners of the room. Sarah with Phil in one corner while the director Liz gently guided Jennette out into the hall. Abby and Carol stayed huddled in the corner where they had already been seated waiting for their turn to work on a scene. Gen and Therese stayed at their table. </p>
<p>“Should I go talk to them? I feel bad, I wasn’t paying attention and completely missed what happened.” Therese chewed on her lip. </p>
<p>Gen sighed, still surveying the room. “No, Sarah and Liz have got it covered. Don’t feel bad. Rehearsals are more their domain. You’ve already stuck around longer in the rehearsal room than most company managers we’ve had. They’d always escape to that spare office. Probably more to fuck around than actually work. We’ve had such terrible luck.” Gen turned to Therese. “You’ve by far my favorite co-man we’ve had.”</p>
<p>Therese smiled in gratitude. Resting her chins on both of her fists, her gaze drifted across the room towards the corner where Abby and Carol still sat, a bit startled to see Abby looking at her. Abby immediately whipped her gaze back to Carol and said something to the other woman. Therese couldn’t help but continue to stare in curiosity until suddenly both women were turning their heads in her direction. Therese snapped her head down and pulled her arms off the table but knocked over her water bottle in the process. It bounced loudly on the table and descended towards the floor. Therese managed to intercept it before it hit the ground, setting it back in its place beside her computer. She looked back towards the women out of the corner of her eye, relieved to see them with their heads together, no longer paying her any mind. </p>
<p>Rehearsal eventually resumed but the room was still a bit tense. Therese found herself preoccupied, waiting for the next clash between actors to happen. Luckily, one never came. But regardless, Therese felt distracted and decided to take her laptop and retreat to that empty office space down the hall for the first time. With only two hours of rehearsal left, she was sure no one would really miss or need her. </p>
<p>She had finished her more time-sensitive work and found herself skimming through the theatre’s website when she heard a bit of commotion out in the hall. She glanced at the clock to see it was 6:00pm, the end of rehearsal. She closed her laptop and headed back down the hall towards the room. As she turned to enter, Carol’s immediate presence startled her. </p>
<p>Carol chuckled and looped her arms through the jacket she was holding. “We have to stop running into each other like this. I’m afraid I’ll give you a heart attack one of these days.” </p>
<p>Therese felt herself blush and hugged her laptop close to her chest. “Are you headed for home? I bet you’re ready to get out of here and start your day off.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I suppose so.” Carol cocked her head to the side. “You know, I thought you had left when you disappeared earlier.” </p>
<p>Phil came up behind Carol placing his hand on her shoulder. “Sorry ladies, just need to slip by.”</p>
<p>Carol crossed the threshold to stand in the hall where Therese was, reaching out to gently push on her shoulder, guiding them both to step to the side out of the way. “Sorry, Phil. Take it easy this weekend!” Phil gave Carol a mini salute and disappeared around the corner and down the stairs. Carol glanced at the watch on her wrist. “What do you have planned on your day off tomorrow?”</p>
<p>Therese bit her lip, wracking her brain for something to say. She didn’t have anything planned but felt that a rather pathetic answer. “Well, maybe a little grocery shopping? Or I’ll just take a long walk, enjoy the nice weather. Do you have anything planned? A Sunday brunch? Or...church?”</p>
<p>Carol laughed. “God no, not church. I thought about running a few errands myself. Would you like to join me? A walk and a little shopping, two birds, one stone? Unless you’d like a bit of solitude after a week with the likes of us actors.” </p>
<p>“No no, not at all. I’d love to!” Therese mentally kicked herself for how rushed and eager her voice came out. </p>
<p>Carol waited a beat as if challenging Therese to change her mind. “Alright then. How about we meet at Citizens of Chelsea at 2:00p? We can start with a cup of coffee.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Carol sat on a bench on the corner of Chelsea Park. She had just walked out the door of her apartment when her phone rang. It was Harge calling to try to change her day with Rindy. She didn’t have time for yet another fight with him but she knew if she didn’t dig her heels in now she wouldn’t stand a chance later. So she quickly crossed the street to sit in the park while she battled it out with him over the phone. </p>
<p>“Harge, I barely get to see her, you can’t just keep her from me because it’s convenient for you...I don’t care what the reason is!” She pulled her sunglasses off her face and rubbed a temple with her free hand as she listened, eyes closed.</p>
<p>“Yes, I’m still here. I’m just thinking...Do you swear if you keep her next Sunday then I can have her the weekend after? I pick her up the moment I get off rehearsal on Saturday and I’ll get her to school on Monday. And we go back to our regular schedule, nothing else gets shifted!” She glanced at her watch. She was already five minutes late and still had to walk a few blocks to get to the coffee shop. “Fine. But I swear to God Harge if you pull anything...Okay. Look I’m late for something and need to go. Tell Rindy I’ll call and talk to her tonight.” </p>
<p>Carol hung up the phone and quickly sent a text to Therese briefly apologizing and promising she’d be there in a moment. She put her sunglasses back on, ran her fingers through her hair and jumped up from where she sat. At least she wasn’t going to have to spend the rest of this gorgeous day alone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I promise we're going to get somewhere!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hello, lovelies! Here's a bit of a nice long chapter for you. I spent a few nights and special treats getting this one down on paper while mapping out more of the path I intend this story to take. I hope you enjoy it!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Therese sat in the café by the window, the door to her back. She always liked to sit by windows during the day to people watch and enjoy the sun. Too much time in her little apartment left her feeling a bit claustrophobic. It was tiny and dark with a couple of small windows that only looked out on a sketchy alleyway or an empty courtyard. </p><p><em>Want to see a movie tonight?</em>  The text came in behind Carol’s. Therese knew she’d have to answer or Dannie would spend the afternoon blowing up her phone until she did. She didn’t know how long Carol wanted to be in her company. She didn’t want to assume it would be the rest of the day but she also didn’t want the time they could spend together to be limited on her account. She lightly bit her bottom lip as she typed a reply, knowing Carol could show up at any moment. </p><p><em>Sorry, not tonight. I’m out running errands and promised a friend I’d hang out later for a bite and a drink.</em> It wasn’t exactly the truth, but it also wasn’t a total lie. <em>Don’t know when I’ll be home. Can we raincheck and it’ll be my treat?</em></p><p>Therese heard a pair of heels approaching from behind and shoved her phone in her cross-body purse that sat on the floor between her feet and the wall. Carol put a hand on Therese’s shoulder, confirming her presence as she passed to sit in the chair across from her. </p><p>“I’m terribly sorry I’m late. I had every intention of being on time for once in my life when I was suddenly roped into an unpleasant phone call.”</p><p>“Is everything okay?” Therese started to reach out before catching herself, leaving her arm resting on the table an almost awkward distance away from her own body. “I’m not keeping you from something more important, am I?”</p><p>Therese almost swore there was a twinkle in Carol’s eye. “I absolutely do not have anything more important to be doing than being here with you.” She covered Therese’s hand still on the table, stroking it twice with her thumb before lifting her hand to flag someone down to take their coffee order. “And what about you? I saw you in the window before I came in. You looked a bit worried with your phone.”</p><p>“Oh! That, it was nothing, just my roommate. Everything’s fine.” She smiled with a sense of finality to the subject. </p><p>Carol and Therese decided to take their drinks to-go and headed towards Greenwich Village. For their first stop, Carol wanted to pick up some new books for her daughter. Therese asked all about her, enjoying the glow that seemed to admit from Carol when she talked about Rindy. When they arrived at the bookstore Therese sent the older woman in ahead of her, wanting to finish the last bit of her coffee. Once Carol had disappeared inside she pulled out her phone, relieved to see Dannie had excepted her excuse without question. She chugged the last of her coffee, threw the cup in it a nearby trashcan, and walked into the bookstore. </p><p>She glanced around the shop once pondering if she should leave Carol to her own devices or try to find her. She saw the sign for the children’s section close to her right and a couple of rows past that the sign for fiction. She’d been meaning to track down a few Sarah Waters books featuring lesbian protagonists and decided to head there. She could give Carol a little wave as she passed just to let her know she was inside. But as she moved past the aisle Carol stood in, a whisper stopped her.</p><p>As she turned, Carol came around the corner smiling shyly. “Dearest, could I borrow you for a moment?” Therese nodded silently and followed Carol to where she’d previously been standing. The pet name the blonde had used was not lost on her. “I’m trying to decide what books to pick out for Rindy. I got her a few princess stories recently, but she seemed to tire of those quicker than usual. What kind of books here would you have wanted when you were eight?”</p><p>Therese bent over at the waist to better read the spines of the books on the shelf. As she pulled one halfway out to glance at its cover, she felt a hand come to rest on the middle of her back. She froze, feeling her heart drop into her stomach. But as much as Carol’s touch made her nervous, it also felt natural and comforting. In a way, it felt it would’ve been weird if she hadn’t rested her hand on her back. Therese also had a fleeting thought of disappointment, wishing the hand had come to rest a little lower. Therese quickly shook her head at the thought and shoved the book she was still holding back in its place. She tried to focus on the task at hand and finally pulled out three books. One about planes, one about clocks, and one about trains. When she stood up straight, Carol’s hand moved from her back to take the books from Therese.</p><p>“I’ve been told when I was younger, I was obsessed with things like trains, planes, boats, and clocks. Do you think she’d hate these? I mean, I was a rather weird kid growing up so she might not like these. I’m pretty out of the loop on popular children’s literature these days so please don’t worry about thinking they’d be all wrong for her. I won’t take it personally!” She was rambling but couldn’t seem to stop. She avoided eye contact with the other woman.  </p><p>Carol finally spoke, saving Therese from drowning in her own words. “I think these are brilliant picks! You’re a star, thank you! Was there anything you wanted to look for while we’re here?”</p><p>Therese hesitated. She wanted to go look for those books by Waters but suddenly felt awkward. “Nothing particularly important, we can go if you’re ready.” </p><p>“But there is something? We’ve got plenty of time, Therese. I’ll even help you look!” Carol seemed to sense Therese’s continued hesitation, so she took her by the hand and pulled her out of the children’s section. “Come on now. What genre are we looking for?” Therese finally let out a laugh and pointed with their joined hands towards the fiction section. </p><p>Before either could move their feet, Carol’s phone began to ring. She let out a huff as she freed her hand to pull her phone from her purse. “Shit, I need to take this, Therese. Go look for your book, I’m just going to step outside.” Carol haphazardly placed the books for Rindy on a nearby shelf and rushed towards the entrance.</p><p>Therese contemplated following Carol out but figured she needed a bit of privacy. She picked up the books Carol had left behind and finally moved her feet towards the back of the store. </p><p>Rindy's books and one of her own in hand, Therese walked outside to find Carol leaning against a postbox smoking a cigarette. She had put her sunglasses back on and seemed to be staring across the street at nothing, unaware that Therese was standing behind her. She waited a beat, drinking in the sight of Carol. She could read the tension in her body, even in the hand that held the cigarette. “Everything alright?”</p><p>Carol whipped around and Therese saw her entire body language change in that single motion. Her shoulders dropped an inch or two, her wrists relaxed, and Therese could’ve sworn she even saw her jaw unclench. Was this Carol putting on a façade, erecting a wall? </p><p>“Fine and dandy!” Carol feigned a smile while she stubbed out her cigarette on the postbox a little too hard. Therese was disappointed and wished Carol would talk to her. She wanted to ask Carol so many questions, peel back her layers and open her up. But today was not the day.</p><p>The pair continued their part stroll, part shopping trip around the area. Carol had them stop in at a few boutiques with lovely clothes, purses, perfumes, etc. Everything was beautiful but Therese didn’t bother looking at the prices, knowing she couldn’t even dream of affording any of it. A few hours had slipped by and the sun started to sink into the sky. But Therese was so content following Carol all around lower Manhattan that time didn’t mean anything to her. </p><p>A bit after 5:00p, Carol announced she had one final place she wanted to go. “I normally deprive myself, but today has been so nice I have to stop at Murray’s Cheese. Ever heard of it?” Therese shook her head no. “It’s my favorite place to pick up a bit of fresh cheese. They have all kinds and an assortment of olives, meats, lots of other delicious things, too.” They came to a stoplight and stood waiting for the light to change. Carol suddenly turned, gently grabbing Therese’s wrist, smiling. “Do you have anywhere you need to be tonight?”</p><p>Therese looked up at Carol, slightly squinting. “What did you have in mind?”</p><p>Carol’s smiled deepened, reaching her eyes. “That didn’t exactly answer my question.”</p><p>Therese pondered a moment before throwing her own words back at her with a smirk. “I absolutely have nothing more important to be doing tonight than being here with you.” She felt Carol squeeze her wrist almost painfully. </p><p>“That’s that then, you’re having dinner with me at my apartment!” Carol dropped her hand and practically bounced into the street. Therese hadn’t even noticed the light had changed and quickly followed after her. </p><p>Murray’s was small but crowded and a bit loud when they stepped inside, overwhelming Therese. Carol leaned over to speak directly into her ear. “Take a look around at your own pace. I’m going to grab some things for tonight. I’ll find you when I’ve got everything.” Before Therese could respond, Carol had squeezed through the crowd of people. </p><p>Therese watched her disappear before letting herself browse leisurely, eventually making her way towards the wall of wine that seemed a bit less crowded than other areas of the shop. Therese found herself happily observing the different kinds of people around her, all skillfully dodging each other as they grabbed what they needed or telling the employees what cheeses and meats they wanted slices of. She was suddenly struck with a wave of love for New York City, its people and its shops. </p><p>Therese shifted from her spot out of the way of someone trying to look at the wines behind her. She moved into a vacant corner and scanned the top of the crowd looking for a halo of blonde hair. She turned her head to the right to find Carol at the olive station, watching her in return. Therese felt her heart skip a beat. She smiled but didn’t move from where she stood. Even from afar, she swore she could see something brewing behind those blue eyes. Carol winked and turned back to the olive station, dishing some into the clear container she held.  </p><p>Therese decided to browse the shop a bit more and ended up in front of a display of cheesecake. As her eyes roamed over the different flavors she was unaware that someone had come to stand at her shoulder. </p><p>She jumped when a hand pressed against her lower back. “You should pick one out for dessert tonight.”</p><p>Despite the flush she felt creeping up her neck, Therese chanced a look at Carol. “What flavors do you like?” Her eyes flickered down to watch the other woman’s tongue dart out, briefly moistening her lips. </p><p>“Anything sweet.” Carol let her hand trail along Therese’s back as she turned away from her. “Meet me in the check-out line once you pick something.” </p><p>Therese felt frozen, watching Carol’s retreating figure with wide eyes until she turned the corner out of sight. She suddenly took a deep inhale having not realized she had been holding her breath. She looked back to the variety of cheesecake, grabbed a small strawberry flavored one, and followed after Carol. </p><p> </p><p>As they waited in line, the women chatted about their favorite restaurants, museums, parks, and other places around the city. When she paid for the groceries, Therese fiercely insisted that she at the least pay for the cheesecake to contribute to their evening meal. Carol loved seeing this stubborn side of Therese. When they left, Carol announced she didn’t feel like lugging their haul for the day back to her place on foot and flagged down a taxi. Once settled inside, she noticed Therese kept her bag beside her but kept an arm around it in a way that left her hand resting on the seat between them. Therese looked out the window, watching the world pass by. Carol took the opportunity to admire her delicate profile, wishing she could reach over and tuck the hair that obstructed part of her view behind her ear. </p><p>Carol finally broke the silence. “Therese?” The brunette turned her head towards her in answer. Looking into her big emerald eyes, Carol nearly forgot to continue. She tore her eyes away down to the hand resting on the seat and covered it with her own. Therese’s hands were so soft she couldn’t help but trace the top of her fingers ever so slightly with her own. “Thank you for spending your time with me today.” She looked back up to see a blank expression on the younger woman’s face. Fearing she’d crossed a line she began to pull her hand away until it was caught by Therese. </p><p>“Don’t thank me. I’ve enjoyed every minute.” </p><p>Carol smiled in relief and opened her mouth to speak only to be interrupted, once more, by her phone ringing. She sighed. “I’m sorry, it’s not usually like this. Guess everyone’s just determined to bug me on my day off.” She pulled the phone out and stared at the screen for a moment before silencing the call but not declining it. Once the screen went black, she turned the ringer off and kept the device in her hand rather than putting it away. She looked out and realized they were less than a block from her apartment. She leaned forward to instruct the driver where to stop and pulled some cash out of her wallet, thanking him, and then motioned for Therese to exit so she could follow out on her side. </p><p>As Carol’s feet hit the sidewalk, she felt her phone begin to vibrate again. Without looking she knew who was calling. She shook her hair off her face and took a deep breath to keep her voice steady. “Wait here, I just need to answer this for a quick second.” She quickly walked a few paces away from Therese before answering. </p><p>“Hello?” She tried to keep her voice low so Therese couldn’t hear. </p><p>“Why are you so quiet? You’re with someone, aren't you? Who is it?”</p><p>“No, it’s no one. I’m alone. I’m just tired.”</p><p>“Well, why didn’t you answer my call the first time?”</p><p>“I was stepping out of the shower, not that I need to explain myself. You don’t have the right to know where I am at all times anymore.” There was silence on the other end. “What it is?” Carol glanced back at Therese and put up a finger to try to indicate she wouldn’t belong before turning away from her again. “No. No, you can’t, I have rehearsal in the morning and I’m exhausted. I’m going to bed early.” Carol took a few more steps away down the block, struggling to keep her voice down. “No, look I talked to you earlier today. You can’t keep doing this. No, please don’t – “ The line disconnected before she could finish and she felt her heart jump in her throat. “Damn it!”</p><p>Therese called out. “Carol, is everything okay?” </p><p>Carol turned on her heel and walked quickly back to Therese. She spoke as she walked but couldn’t bring herself to make eye contact. “I’m sorry, Therese. I can’t do this,” she hesitated, “dinner thing tonight anymore. I’ll have to leave you here. You can take the food home.” Carol all but shoved the bag of food into Therese’s arms and turned to walk towards the door of her building. </p><p>“Carol, wait! You paid for all of this, take it with you. There’s no reason for me to take it.” </p><p>Carol turned to see Therese following but she stopped when she saw the look on the older woman’s face. Carol felt a twinge of guilt for how stern and cold she was being but the feeling of fear outweighed the guilt 10 to 1. She softened her gaze a bit. “Consider it my apology for cutting our night short. See you at rehearsal tomorrow, Therese.” With that, she entered her building alone, feeling a little more broken than she had that morning. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Not everything is what it seems.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Carol walked into rehearsal the next morning, she made a beeline for her usual spot in the corner only to find three children’s books on her chair. She tensed and quickly glanced around the room, slightly puzzled not to see Therese anywhere. Even her seat at the table by Gen was void of a bag or laptop. She picked up the books to notice they were the exact ones she’d left behind at the bookstore the day before.</p><p>Abby walked up behind her. “What are those?”</p><p>“Just some books for Rindy.” Carol shoved them into her bag and pulled out her script. </p><p>Abby settled into the seat next to hers. “You get to see her this Sunday, right?”</p><p>Carol sighed and dropped heavily into her own seat. “No. I have to wait an extra week.”</p><p>“WHAT?!”</p><p>Carol shushed Abby for her outburst after drawing a few looks. “I know, I know. Harge’s parents have booked some cabin in Maine for the weekend and they insist on Harge and Rindy going with them. Harge promised I could have her the next Saturday night through Monday morning if I let her go to Maine without a fuss. And I’ll still get her on my usual Sunday the week after that. I’m not thrilled to have to wait but at least I’ll have her twice as long the next time I see her. I just miss her so much.”</p><p>Abby hummed. “Well, I don’t love that they pulled this on you. But that means I’m taking advantage of your extra time to come see my goddaughter.” Carol laughed and pressed against Abby’s shoulder with her own. “How was your day off?” Abby flipped through her script but when she didn’t get an immediate answer, she looked over pointedly.</p><p>Carol kept her face turned away picking an invisible piece of fuzz off her shoulder as she finally answered. “She showed up at my door again early last night.” Abby didn’t say anything in response. They’d had this conversion enough times that there wasn’t anything left to say. Abby watched silently as her friend stood and walked away.</p><p>Carol scanned the room again but Therese was nowhere to be found despite rehearsal beginning in five minutes. She had to be around, Carol thought, she had brought the books. Carol slipped out of the room, under the pretense of checking the call board and saw no one up or down the hall. But a door at the end of the hall caught her eye. It was open a crack and there was a light on inside. She began walking towards it but before she got more than a few steps she heard the voice of the director calling for her. She stared at the door she had been walking towards, willing it to give her the answers she was looking for even if she didn’t exactly know what the questions were. After a moment she turned and went back to the room.</p><p> </p><p>Therese waited another few seconds after hearing Liz call for Carol before getting up from her chair and peering out into the hall. To her relief, she only saw Genevieve shutting the doors to the rehearsal room. Therese wasn't ready to see Carol yet. She shut the door and sat back at the desk to continue answering emails. After a few unfocused minutes, she found herself mulling over the last moments she had been with Carol the night before for what felt like the hundredth time.</p><p>Yesterday had left her dizzy with confusion and it took her what seemed like ages to leave Carol’s building. She had stood there replaying the minutes that led up to Carol’s 180 on her, trying to figure out what had happened. The day had been more than lovely. She even dared to think it had been nearly perfect. The phone call Carol took must’ve had something to do with their canceled dinner plans, but the way the blonde had treated Therese didn’t sit right with her. The Carol who had dismissed her for the night was a stranger. Had she dreamt every look and touch they had shared that day? Therese had finally snapped back to reality when the doorman came out to ask if she was alright and needed a taxi. Therese just shook her head and started walking towards the nearest subway to go home, eyes filling with tears.</p><p>Therese sighed, bringing herself back to the present. She was tired and distracted so she decided to go out and get some decent coffee from the place across the street from the theatre. She texted Gen asking if she wanted something while she was there. When Therese returned with the coffee, she stood outside the room and texted Gen to come to the door so she wouldn’t disturb rehearsal by going in. Gen gently opened the door wide enough to grab the coffee from Therese and quietly thank her. Therese looked past her shoulder into the room and felt her breath catch when she made eye contact with Carol. Their shared look only lasted a second, not long enough for Therese to read Carol before Gen shut the door. So she stepped away and retreated back to the office.</p><p>An hour and a half later Therese was engrossed in a payroll spreadsheet when a knock came from the door. Distracted by her work, she called for whoever it was to come in but didn’t turn around until she heard the click of the door closing behind her guest. She turned in her seat to find Carol resting her shoulder on the closed door with her arms crossed, staring at the floor. She wore tan wedges with red capri slacks and a white short sleeve button up. Her nails where the same shade of red as her pants and her hair was pulled up in a soft bun at the back of her head. Therese couldn't help but think she looked striking.</p><p>After a short period of silence, Therese spoke in nearly a whisper, afraid Carol would disappear on her again. “Hi.”</p><p>Carol kept her gaze on the floor but drummed her fingers on her forearm. “I came to apologize properly for last night. Something came up and I was stressed out. I didn’t handle it properly and took it out on you.” She finally looked up at Therese. “I acted badly towards you. And I’m sorry.”</p><p>Therese was momentarily stunned by Carol’s apology. “It’s alright, Carol. But thank you.”</p><p>Carol's eyes bore into hers. “How old are you, Therese?”</p><p>Therese inwardly flinched. “Twenty-five.”</p><p>“So young.”</p><p>Therese looked down at her hands, feeling foolish. She hadn’t let herself put into exact words what she wanted from Carol, what she had maybe hoped for from her yesterday. But it all came flooding at her now. She wanted Carol. She wanted to kiss her and run her hands over her body, she wanted to know what she looked like first thing in the morning and what the best way was to relax her at night. She wanted to know about Carol’s past and be a part of her future. But something about hearing those two words coming out of her mouth made Therese feel ridiculous for having hoped Carol could feel anything more than friendship towards her.</p><p>“You must be on a short break, is there anything else you needed from me?</p><p>Carol unfolded her arms to clasp her hands together in front of her. “Just to say thank you for getting the books for Rindy. Will you let me know what I owe you?”</p><p>Therese waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about. I meant to give them to you yesterday.” There was a tense pause of an unfinished statement before she continued with a small smile. “Let me know how she likes them.”</p><p>Carol finally cracked a grin but Therese could see a sadness in the older woman’s eyes. “Thank you, Therese.” She opened the door but before exiting turned back. “Don’t miss me too much cooped up in here.”</p><p>Therese smirked and sassed right back. “I’ll do my best, Ms. Ross.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next week of rehearsals went by quickly. Therese split her time between the rehearsal room and the little office wanting to be visibly available to the actors should they need her, but she also found herself extremely distracted by Carol. They hadn’t interacted much during the week apart from polite greetings and small shy waves to each other across the room. The show was heavy and so Therese did her best to not disturb any of the actors in their process, including Carol, as rehearsals progressed.</p><p>Halfway through the week, Therese had been put in charge of personally inviting everyone to the artistic director’s apartment for dinner and drinks on Saturday. She went around to everyone individually to let them know since the event was a last-minute thing while ensuring she’d also be putting all details into an email for everyone later in the day.</p><p>She had managed to make it around to all the actors during their lunch break except for Carol who was nowhere to be found. She asked Sarah semi-jokingly where Carol was hiding out. Therese knew she at least hadn’t left the building since her purse and phone were still sitting, though rather abandoned, on her usual chair.</p><p>“I think it’s been a particularly rough rehearsal for Carol today.” Sarah spoke in a whispered tone and Therese felt a lump of concern grow in her stomach. She had only spent the first 30 minutes of rehearsal that day in the room before retreating to her office until the lunch break had started. Sarah continued. “I unlocked the women’s dressing room for her so she could lay down and rest on the cot in there through the lunch hour. I’d leave her be if you don’t urgently need her.”</p><p>Therese only nodded her head in understanding and went to sit at the table by Gen. Therese decided to stay in the room for the rest of rehearsal. She wouldn’t have admitted it out loud, but she was sticking around purely to keep an eye on Carol. When the actress had finally reemerged at the end of lunch she’d been noticeably quieter, less playful with Abby and the others. The few times she smiled Therese could see it didn’t reach her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Saturday morning Carol groaned as she dragged herself out of bed. Not only did she have rehearsal to get through that day but the gathering at the artistic director’s house afterward, too. She was exhausted in every way possible and even the thought of stepping outside of her apartment filled her with dread. As she brewed herself some coffee, she dialed Abby’s number.</p><p>“Helloooo!” Carol winced at Abby’s level of volume.</p><p>“You’re going to this thing tonight, right?”</p><p>“Well good morning to you, too. I’m well, thank you for asking!”</p><p>Carol rolled her eyes. “Abby, honestly.”</p><p>“What’s got you cranky so early in the day? Yes, I’m going. You’d better be too, or I’ll drag you there myself.”</p><p>“But I’m exhausted, Abby. I’m not in the mood to play cheerful guest tonight.”</p><p>“No one said you had to be cheerful, Carol, not that you’d know how! Come on, free food and booze, and you’ll have me. We can sneak away to a corner and judge everyone else there for a few hours and then leave. I’ll even treat you to a cab home. Alright? All you have to do is show up. Besides, I can think of a certain brunette who will be disappointed if you don’t go.”</p><p>Carol scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous, Abby. It’s not even her party.”</p><p>“So? She’s been watching you like a hawk all week.”</p><p>“You’re imagining things, Abby. Sounds like it’s you that’s watching her. Have something you’d like to share with the group?”</p><p>“Whatever you say! See you at rehearsal.”</p><p>Hanging up the phone, Carl sighed and walked back into her room with a mug full of coffee. Walking over to stand at her closet, she pondered what she’d wear that evening.</p><p>Carol noticed pretty quickly that Therese was completely absent from rehearsal. By the end of the day with the young woman still being a no-show, Carol wondered if she’d be absent from the party as well and began thinking of skipping it herself all over again. But at 5:00p when everyone was dismissed from rehearsal early to be able to go home and freshen up, Abby linked arms with Carol. Only then did the blonde notice her best friend had brought an extra bag with her that day.</p><p>“To make sure you don’t end up skipping out on tonight, I’m coming home with you to get ready and we’ll go to the party together. I’m not taking no for an answer!”</p><p>Carol cracked a smile. “Fine, but you’re in charge of mixing us a few pre-party drinks, then!”</p><p>“Doll, as long as it’s not my liquor, I’ll mix you as many drinks as your heart desires!”</p><p> </p><p>Therese had forgone rehearsal that day to lend a hand to the artistic director of the theatre company and his assistant as they prepared for the party that evening. She had only briefly met the artistic director once before and was glad to have more facetime with him in hopes of being asked back to company manage other shows for the theatre in the future. Once they had finished a majority of the preparations, she had just enough time to race home to freshen up and change into her favorite black floral midi-sleeveless wrap dress before returning ahead of the cast and crew.</p><p>The evening had started with a sort of cocktail hour to give everyone time to show up at their own pace. Much to Therese’s relief, Gen was one of the first to arrive. It was ultimately a nice turnout, Therese was pleasantly surprised practically everyone had shown up. She'd assumed not everyone would come but was surprised it was Carol and Abby who were the ones missing.  </p><p>When it was time for dinner, it was clear it would be a tight fit. Therese and Gen decided to take their plates and sit out on the apartment’s balcony. There was certainly space for them to sit at the table but with so many people, they figured they’d be missed least of all and wanted to give everyone else a bit more room. As they settled into chairs on the balcony, Carol and Abby, unbeknownst to them, made their entrance to the party and took what would have been their seats at the table with everyone else.</p><p>For the most part, Therese and Gen sat in comfortable silence as they ate. Therese smiled to herself as she listened to the mixture of the city stretched out before them and the sounds of her theatre company laughing inside. She looked over at the other woman. “This is nice.”</p><p>Gen nodded in agreement.  “Isn’t it? I love this area of town. And I’d kill for a place that had a balcony even a fraction of this size.”</p><p>“Wouldn’t that be a dream?” Therese picked up her drink and noticed it was empty. She looked over to see the same for Gen. “I’m going inside for another drink and to drop my plate. Want me to take yours and get you a refill?”</p><p>Everyone else seemed to be finished with dinner as well and had begun to plant themselves in various places around the large apartment to relax with a drink and chat. Therese dropped the plates in the kitchen only to find Carol and Abby leaning against one of the counters, drinks in hand. Abby was dressed in a thigh-length yellow sundress while Carol beautifully donned a royal blue jumpsuit with three-quarter length sleeves. Both women had straightened their hair and while Abby let hers flow freely, Carol had half of hers swept back, revealing a smooth pale neck. Therese’s mouth felt dry.</p><p>Abby was the first the speak. “Therese, you’re here! Where have you been hiding your pretty little face?”</p><p>Therese laughed. She’d bet anything that Abby had already had her fair share of drinks and wondered if the women had been late due to a little pre-gaming. “I haven’t been hiding anywhere! Gen and I had our dinner out on the balcony. But where have you two been? I didn’t see you come in earlier.”</p><p>Abby flipped her hair over one shoulder. “We were fashionably late to dinner, slipped in just as everyone was starting to eat.”</p><p>Gen walked in behind Therese. “Did you get lost with our drinks, Therese?” She turned to the two older women in the room. “Hi ladies! Glad to see you finally made it tonight.”</p><p>Abby lifted her glass. “Where there’s free booze, Abigail Gerhard will always appear!”</p><p>Gen took the empty glasses Therese still held. “I’d drink to that only we seem to be in need of a refill!” She left the room in search of the bar that had been set up in the living for everyone to help themselves to. Despite her wish to stay and talk to Carol, Therese followed.</p><p>At some point Therese had gotten caught on the couch between Gen and Phil. They’d been going on for a while about fun times on previous shows they had worked together. At first it had been interesting, even entertaining, hearing stories about crazy things they’d experienced. But it soon became a bit tedious not having anything to contribute to the conversation, so she used the excuse of needing a refill to escape.</p><p>Once on her feet, Therese felt a tad lightheaded. She filled her glass with some white wine and decided she wanted a bit of fresh air and walked back out onto the balcony. She jumped, nearly spilling her drink when she realized Carol and Abby were sitting on a bench over in a dark corner. Abby giggled at her having been startled. “Are you two hiding out here?”</p><p>Carol shrugged one shoulder. “What if we are?”</p><p>Therese walked towards them and leaned against the balcony railing nearest Carol, thigh almost touching elbow. “Well, I think I’ll join you then if that’s alright.”</p><p>Abby stood. “Take my spot, Therese. I need to find the bathroom and get myself a refill.” Therese protested only to be physically dragged over to the spot by Abby and forced to sit. “At least keep it warm for me until I get back.”</p><p>Therese’s eyes followed Abby as she disappeared inside until she felt Carol tap on her arm.</p><p>“Where were you today?”</p><p>Therese leaned back against the bench and slightly turned her body towards Carol. She was highly conscious of the fact that they sat only a few inches apart. “I was here helping set things up.” She smiled and tilted her head. “Why, did you miss me?”</p><p>“I was afraid it meant you also wouldn’t be here tonight.” Carol waited a moment before continuing. Her natural face and matter-of-fact tone made Therese squirm. “So when I got here to find you were absent from the dinner table, I nearly turned and walked right back out.”</p><p>Therese’s breath caught. Lost for words, she cleared her throat and took a drink. When she looked back over at the older woman, she was looking up at the dark sky. Therese was struck with the thought again of how radiant Carol was. She drank in the long smooth line of the other woman’s neck, wishing she could press her lips against it. Her eyes traveled farther down to the blonde’s crossed arms and legs. It struck Therese odd the position she was in. Every other inch of her body portrayed a woman closed off, and yet by gazing up the way she did she left the most delicate part of her body open and vulnerable in Therese’s presence.</p><p>Before she could stop herself, a thought popped in her head. “Carol, how old are you?” That got her attention. Carol’s head jerked sharply in Therese’s direction. But she didn’t back down. “It’s only fair since you know how old I am.”</p><p>Carol narrowed her eyes at her, but Therese could still see a spark of amusement in her face. “Thirty-nine.” Therese smiled. “What?”</p><p>“Nothing. You’re just gorgeous is all.”</p><p>Carol motioned to the drink in Therese’s hand. “And you’re drunk.”</p><p>“Does being drunk make me a liar? You’re always gorgeous, even when I’m sober. In the daytime when the sunshine makes your blonde hair glow you look otherworldly.” Therese was slightly shocked at her courage to make such a bold statement. But she couldn’t stop herself. “And tonight,” she let herself openly drag her gaze down and up Carol’s body, “you look particularly divine.”</p><p>“Well, well, well, Miss Belivet.” Therese felt as though Carol’s deep voice sent vibrations straight through her. She gripped the drink in her hands tighter, knuckles turning white. “I never took you for such a flirt.” Draping an arm over the back of the bench they sat on, Carol traced Therese’s bare shoulder with the tip of her index finger. Therese unconsciously shifted herself closer to the blonde and glanced down to Carol’s lips. She felt fingers ghost across her shoulder up to her neck. When she felt fingers slowly finding purchase at the back of her neck, she shivered and tilted her chin up, reducing the space between their heads a bit more.</p><p>A voice cleared, making them both jump back. In the motion, Therese’s hands jerked, spilling the drink she still held all over herself. She jumped to her feet trying to shake off the liquid before it all soaked into her outfit. Abby stood on the balcony in the light, hands on her hips glaring at the two other women.</p><p>Therese was grateful for not being in the direct light. She could feel her entire body flush with heat. Eyes glued to the floor, she shook out the skirt of her dress. “I’d better run to the bathroom and clean up. Excuse me.”</p><p>Carol stood. “I’ll come to help – ”</p><p>Abby put out a hand stopping her. “I’ll help you.” Carol looked at her with noticeable disappointment. “Why don’t you grab something to clean up the spill out here.” She then led Therese to the bathroom, leaving Carol alone on the balcony.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It's been a heavy week. Even as I edit and post this chapter I'm keeping eyes on a live feed of our Seattle folks protesting into the night since NYC has been put on a strict curfew. Please take time to educate yourself, do some good, check in on friends, and remember BLACK LIVES MATTER. It's officially Pride month and don't any of you forget for a second that we only have Pride here in the US because of a black trans woman and a black butch lesbian. Without black lives, there is no Pride.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for the lovely comments on the last chapter (and all chapters)! Did I ever happen to mention sheer angst with this story? I hope you'll all keep with me! Many delicious things in store.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Abby shut the bathroom door behind her and instructed Therese to sit on the edge of the bathtub. Therese couldn’t look her in the eye, self-conscious that her face was probably still beat red from what had just occurred out on the balcony. She held the part of her dress soaked in wine up so it wouldn’t stick her leg.</p>
<p>Abby knelt to assess the damage for herself before patting Therese’s arm. “Fortunately, it was only white wine and you have on a dark dress so you shouldn’t have to worry about a stain. But regardless, I’m going to see if there’s any club soda around to flush it out. Take off your shoes, swing your feet around into the tub, and rinse that section out. I’ll be back.” Abby didn’t wait for a response before leaving the younger woman alone in the bathroom.</p>
<p>While she was gone, Therese did as she was told and let her mind wandered back to the vision that was Carol’s face coming closer to her own. Carol had these beautiful faint soft lines around her eyes she’d never noticed before. Therese had always felt a particular attraction to women a bit older than herself but with Carol it different and she couldn’t exactly put her finger on why. All she knew was she felt physically drawn to Carol, as if there was some sort of taut chord connected to her chest, always tugging on her until she was in the other woman’s presence again. And sitting on the bench with her there in the dark, so close and physically touching, the chord had been begun to twist in on itself and left her breathless. Even thinking about it made Therese break out in a small sweat. She stuck her hand under the still running water and patted her chest, neck, and cheeks, desperate to calm herself before Abby returned.</p>
<p>Therese turned off the water and began to ring out the skirt of her dress in the tub when Abby knocked and slipped back in holding a bottle of club soda and a hairdryer.</p>
<p>“How’s it going in here?”</p>
<p>Therese smiled meekly at her, finally making eye contact. “Good, I think. Thank you for helping me, by the way.”</p>
<p>Abby set the hairdryer on the counter and sat on the edge of the tub with Therese but kept her feet on the floor so that their bodies faced opposite directions. “Don’t mention it. We ladies have to look out for each other.” Abby unscrewed the cap to the bottle and turned to begin pouring the club soda on Therese’s dress. “Did you know Carol and I have been best friends since we were kids?”</p>
<p>Therese nodded. “She told me.”</p>
<p>“She did? You two get along well, don’t you?”</p>
<p>Therese couldn’t help but smile. “She’s wonderful, it’d be hard not to get along with her.”</p>
<p>“So, you like her?”</p>
<p>The smile dropped from Therese’s lips and she tried to quickly calculate her next words, worried that pausing for too long would give her away. “Of course, why wouldn’t I? She’s been a dream to work with, you all have been.”</p>
<p>Abby hummed and Therese could plainly see she didn’t buy her skirting the real question. “Well, she likes you.”</p>
<p>Therese’s head swam. “She does?”</p>
<p>“Against her better judgement.” Abby muttered. Therese nearly hadn’t heard what she said.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>Abby’s hands froze as she put the cap back on the bottle. “Rinse your dress and then we’ll dry it.”</p>
<p>“Abby, what did you mean by ‘against her better judgement?”</p>
<p>“Nothing. I’m drunk and you need to rinse!” Abby stood up to plug in the hairdryer.</p>
<p>The two women worked in silence until they were satisfied with the state of Therese’s dress. “Thanks, again.” She had reverted back to avoiding looking Abby in the eyes. “I think I’m going to head out. I guess I could’ve just left earlier and done all of this at home.”</p>
<p>Abby stood blocking the door with her hands on her hips. “How about instead of thanking me, you stick around for dessert before leaving?”</p>
<p>Therese smiled. “Alright, deal.”</p>
<p>When the two women exited the bathroom, Abby wrapped a friendly arm around the younger woman and steered her back out to the balcony where they expected to find Carol, only they found Genevieve instead.</p>
<p>“Where’s my partner in crime gotten off to?”</p>
<p>Gen looked over to Abby in confusion. “Who?”</p>
<p>“Carol. She was out here earlier.”</p>
<p>“Oh! I think she left. I saw her grabbing her purse and jacket a few minutes ago, you must’ve just missed her.”</p>
<p>Therese deflated and Abby began muttering beside her as she dropped her arm and turned to go back inside. “Of all the…going to start handcuffing her to a piece of furniture…flightier than a…”</p>
<p>Therese dropped onto the bench next to Gen who still looked confused. “What was that all about?”</p>
<p>“Who knows. Actors are nutty.” Therese sighed. Part of her wanted to go home but the other part of her knew she’d just crawl into bed and sulk for the rest of the night if she did. Suddenly an idea came to her. “Gen, if I get us a cab, you wanna ditch this party and go to the Cubbyhole with me?”</p>
<p>Gen sat up. “Are you kidding? I’d never say no to the Cubbyhole!” She stood and grabbed Therese by the hand, practically dragging her back inside to grab their things. By the time they made it out the door, they’d dissolved into a fit of laughter.</p>
<p>Monday came far too fast for Therese. She’d stayed in bed hungover all day Sunday and even this morning she was still feeling a little beat up from Saturday night’s post-party shenanigans with Gen. On top of that, she’d slept through the alarms on her phone and was nearly late to the theatre. She’d had all of 20 minutes to get up and out of the house and had run from home to the subway and from the subway to the theatre. Once she finally made it to her little office, she left the door open just a crack and laid out on the floor to catch her breath. Once she felt a little less winded, she pulled out the food and bottle of coffee she had hastily thrown in her bag on the way out that morning and had breakfast while sitting on the floor. The one advantage she had was that people usually didn’t come looking for her first thing in the morning. After she’d eaten, she went to the bathroom to wash her hands and assess just how rough she looked.</p>
<p>When she walked into the small two-stall bathroom and finally caught a glimpse at her reflection she chuckled at herself. She looked every bit as frazzled as she felt. Bits of hair had fallen out of her short ponytail, her mascara had smudged under both her eyes, and one corner of the collar on her button-up shirt was folded under. She fixed her collar, swiped a finger under each eye, and then pulled out her ponytail to run her fingers through her hair. Hearing a bit of shuffling from one of the stalls, she suddenly realized she wasn’t as alone as she thought. The stall door open and when she heard the click of heels, Therese glanced behind her in the mirror to see Carol.</p>
<p>The blonde was in a dark blue simple but tight dress that fell just above her knees paired with a set of tan heels no more than three inches in height and her hair was pulled back in a soft ponytail.</p>
<p>Therese turned to face her directly, giving her a once over, head to toe. “You’re awfully dressed up. Have another party to disappear off to after rehearsal?” Therese kept the sting out of her voice but her subtle message was clear. Only Carol didn’t bite.</p>
<p>“Oh, this?” Carol looked down to reference her dress and shoes. It was at this time Therese noticed Carol hadn’t completely zipped up the side of her dress under her arm. A few inches of pale skin remained exposed. “We’re about to do a rough run of act one. Apparently, my costume is going to be a dress suit and pencil skirt, so I thought I’d try to get used to the restriction.”</p>
<p>“Makes sense. Your dress isn’t zipped all the way there, would you like a hand?” Therese immediately kicked herself. Carol was obviously perfectly capable of zipping it herself. But the answer she received surprised her.</p>
<p>“That would be wonderful.” Carol took a step towards her and lifted her arm.</p>
<p>After a moment’s hesitation, Therese stepped forward and put one hand on Carol’s waist below the zipper and used the other to slowly pull the zipper up. Close to her like this, Therese got another whiff of her intoxicating perfume.</p>
<p>“All fixed.” She mumbled and started to take a step back.</p>
<p>Carol grabbed Therese’s hand a gave it a squeeze before stepping up to the other sink to wash her hands. “Thank you, you’re a doll.”</p>
<p>Therese smiled and willed her cheeks not to blush. She crossed her arms and leaned against her sink. “How are you feeling about the show?”</p>
<p>“It’s…a challenge. But I think it’ll be good.”</p>
<p>“Carol, I…” She trailed off.</p>
<p>“Yes, darling?” Carol dried her hands and leaned against the sink, mirroring Therese’s stance.</p>
<p>“I want to...ask you things. But I’m not sure you want that.”</p>
<p>Carol’s arms slowly unfolded to dangle at her sides. “Ask me things, please.” Her voice was little more than a whisper. Carol began to reach forward but loud voices out in the hall made her recoil. She headed for the door, brushing ever to slightly past Therese. As she opened it, Therese’s voice stopped her.</p>
<p>“Carol?”</p>
<p>The blonde turned. “Yes?”</p>
<p>“That dress looks really great on you.” Rather than waiting for a reaction, Therese turned away to wash her hands in the sink and didn’t look up until she heard the door click shut.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I wonder if anything in this chapter is familiar to some of you re: the old story...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Therese had been around at the theatre all week but spent most of her time downstairs helping prep the dressing rooms for the actors and working with the box office to get comp tickets and seats for the designers during preview performances squared away. She hadn’t seen much of the cast and the rest of the crew apart from Gen who came down at the end of every day to update her on the goings-on in rehearsal. They were fast becoming good friends and Therese was grateful to have someone like her to work with. Gen always seemed to be in a cheerful mood and often looked for the positive in everything. Her energy helped keep Therese from feeling bogged down at the end of a trying day, especially because she hadn’t seen more than a whisper of Carol in all that time. The invisible cord connected to Therese’s chest always seemed to be tugging at her, knowing the blonde was upstairs just moments away.</p><p>The following week, rehearsal was officially moving downstairs to the stage and the actors were going to be allowed to settle into the dressing rooms they’d be using for the run of the show. Just under an hour ahead of actor arrival to rehearsal on Monday morning, Therese was giving backstage and the dressing rooms one last check. She was refolding a blanket on the cot in the women’s dressing room when she heard the sound of heels coming down the hall but didn’t give it much thought. It was far too early for actors to arrive and there was always other theatre staff members, who worked in the building, roaming around. But when she heard sniffling, she turned to find a red-eyed Carol had entered the room and was looking back at her with equal surprise.</p><p>“Carol. You’re awfully early.” </p><p>The older woman turned away from Therese and being to rummage through her bag. “I didn’t sleep very well last night. I was up early and thought I might as well come here rather than…sit around at home.” Carol’s voice broke at the end.</p><p>Therese instinctively moved closer to the other woman but refrained from touching her. “Carol, is everything okay?” Carol moved her head in response, but it didn’t quite read to Therese as a yes or no. She sniffled again and Therese still waited, unsure what to do except give Carol a chance to collect herself. </p><p>Carol sighed deeply. “I’ll be alright.” She stopped digging through her purse but still hadn’t turned to face Therese. “I came from dropping my daughter off at school this morning. Even after having her for the whole weekend, it hurts that I have to say goodbye.” Carol’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I just miss her so much.”</p><p>Therese reached a hand up to gently rest on Carol’s shoulder. The blonde flinched at her touch but immediately leaned into it. She turned her head to face Therese, her eyes filled with fresh tears not quite spilling over.</p><p>Unsure of the right words to say, Therese opted to open her arms instead. “Come here.” She said softly, waiting for the other woman to come to her.</p><p>Carol slowly stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Therese’s shoulders and tucked her face into her neck. In turn, Therese put hers around the taller woman’s waist. She was acutely aware of Carol's breath on her neck and had to focus on taking even calm breaths. Therese could feel the tension in her own arms up through her shoulders. After a moment she managed to focus on releasing that tension and relaxed into Carol’s body, trying to bring her some comfort. Carol must’ve felt this as she suddenly tightened her grip, holding her closer. Therese could feel a heartbeat against her chest but was unsure if it was Carol’s she was feeling or her own. As she took a deep breath, she got a lung-full of that delicious perfume Carol always wore. She closed her eyes and reveled in the warmth that washed over her. After another moment, Therese came back to her senses and the situation at hand. She slacked her grip a bit to give Carol the chance to pull away when she felt ready to, but Carol didn’t seem keen to let go. She continued to hold onto Therese but pulled her head back a bit to look her in the eyes.</p><p>“Thank you for being so kind.”</p><p>Carol leaned in and gave Therese’s cheek a few chaste pecks. At first they were quick and harmless, just a means of thanks and friendly affection. But Therese’s hands seemed to have a mind of their own and moved from where they loosely gripped Carol’s waist up to her ribcage. Carol leaned in and gave her cheek another two kisses only this time slower and more deliberate. Therese felt her stomach lurch, anxious that Carol could feel the heat from the blush that was inevitably creeping into her cheeks. She turned her head towards Carol, eyes immediately finding Carol’s mouth in time to see a tongue dart out to moisten red-stained lips. Her head was swimming, but she had sense enough to tear her gaze back up to Carol’s eyes. The older woman slowly leaned in again, this time to kiss the corner of Therese’s mouth where she lingered.</p><p>A quiet “oh” escaped the younger woman when Carol pulled away. At this, the women locked eyes and Therese felt one of Carol’s arms slip around from the top of her back to caress her chin.</p><p>“Therese.” Packed into her name, Therese heard everything. Carol was asking permission, asking if Therese felt the way she felt, if she was sure this is what she wanted. In response, Therese pressed her fingers firmly into Carol’s sides and nodded her head ever so slightly, never breaking eye contact. Carol’s fingers traced Therese’s jaw up to the back of her ear. As Carol pulled her head towards her, Therese held her breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop, for them to be interrupted like every time before. But the interruption never came and as she felt Carol’s lips softly brush against her own, Therese’s eyes fluttered shut.</p><p>Carol pressed her lips more firmly against Therese’s and when the younger woman began to push back, long fingers moved to tangle in brunette hair. Therese sucked in air through her nose and slid her hands around to the small of Carol’s back to press their bodies closer together. Therese wanted to feel every inch of Carol against her. When the blonde swiped her tongue ever so slightly against her lower lip, Therese gasped and Carol took the opportunity to slip her tongue inside. Therese felt a pull in her stomach when their tongues met, and she couldn’t stop the moan the bubbled up only to be swallowed by Carol. Therese wished she could melt into her. As Carol's teeth pulled on her lower lip, Therese untucked the blonde’s satin black button-up from her jeans and slipped a hand up the back, sliding along smooth skin. The older woman pulled back and rested her forehead against Therese’s while keeping one hand tangled in her hair and the other around her shoulders, holding her close.</p><p>They took a moment to catch their breath in silence, eyes closed and unmoving until Therese let out a breathy laugh. “I think I’ve wanted to kiss you since the moment I first saw you walk through that rehearsal room door in your light blue suit.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi, dears! Sorry for the delay, things have been rough. I'd actually meant to post more in this chapter but couldn't get my thoughts pulled together. Plus I was excited and impatient to give you this choice section of their story. (Also I got a  little high and watched the movie again last night so it was time to get another chapter posted.) <br/>Be safe and well!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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